Before you respond with defiance, erupting from a deep commitment to growth and evolution, hear me out.
I too, believe in the power of playing the infinite game: psychological development, continuous skill, mindset and habit refinement, lifelong learning, spiritual growth and personal evolution. When I say ‘you will always be the same,’ I am referring to who you are at the core of it all — your essence, your spirit, and the one-and-only unique expression of life through you.
The phrases ‘you will always be the same,’ ‘you are one in a million,’ and ‘I see you,’ all have come to me by loved ones who truly saw me, as I am. These phrases, when offered, come from a place of acknowledgment, deep appreciation, and clarity of perception — as a witnessing of me, as I truly am — then, now, always. This is no small thing.
Recently, I picked up a journal that I starting writing in when I was 25 years old. For over an hour, I was engrossed, reading about my days spanning a roughly fifteen month period. As I read over the thoughts that I put to paper more than two decades prior, I saw that largely I am that same person today. What I most cared about was the same:
“What more does one need, really, besides a nice garden of indoor and outdoor plants, a diverse library of books and music, and some animal companionship (human or otherwise)? Morning sun and large windows for lots of natural light… my newly planted little garden is so simple and so sweet.”
That sounds like me. I still get simultaneously energized and grounded by being in nature and of nature — feeling the awe and majesty of life unfolding around and through me. I still love to read, taking in new information and multiple perspectives.
“Sometimes, I wonder at our ability to save ourselves, our co-inhabitants, and our world. It can be too much — too heavy a weight to carry.”
That too, sounds like me. I still notice suffering and the havoc we wreak upon each other and our world. I still sometimes waver as I wonder whether we can save ourselves, and ultimately, I do still seek to contribute to the evolution of the lived experience in ways that lessen suffering.
Thankfully, the variables that we can influence have changed: I have grown psychologically, emotionally, professionally and spiritually. But, at the core, my essence is the same.
At any moment in this life, I have always been the girl that loves to lie in a field just to watch the critters that come and go. Or, sit on the beach at night, listening to the waves while staring at the stars, contemplating how we got here and how we are all connected in this vastness. My eyes still water to consider how the truths that rule our physical realities also rule ultimate reality. Everything can be seen both as a microcosm and something much, much larger.
To be lovingly told ‘you will always be the same,’ is to be seen. To be known, as your essence of joy, wonder and compassion is to be truly witnessed. This experience, to express the core truth that can only be in the one and only you is true freedom. It is the through-line of a life lived in alignment — letting the true self shine through.
My hope for each of us is that the essence of ourselves be expressed. I actually believe this expression is essential to our purpose. Each of us has a unique gift to offer — that special essence is what lights us up, it is what others are responding to when they truly see within us. To reject that gift, by not letting it be seen, is a loss for us all.
Think back to your most content moments of childhood or young adulthood. Notice, I didn’t say happiest. Consider those moments of contentment when you were just you — free to let your mind roam, free to do what you liked, free to be an independent expression, even if just for a moment. Perhaps you had an auntie or a grandparent that truly saw you — what did they say about you? Have you allowed that part of you to exist in this grown up version of yourself? Spend some time to figure this out.
The world needs you as the expression of the unique gift within you that will always be the same.
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